Our Battalion Commander figured no one would notice. He was deployed, and so was she. They just happened to be in the same unit. Work forced them to spend a lot of time together. He decided to start an intimate relationship with this Army Major. Two big problems – he was married, and she was his direct subordinate. Others did notice that they were rather casual around each other. Too casual – so they looked into it. My battalion commander was caught red-handed in an extramarital affair which is unacceptable behavior for an officer, especially a West Point graduate. He was removed from command and sent back to the States in shame. A twenty-year career down the drain because of his horrible decision. He knew better.
A horrible mistake is making poor personal decisions
There is a marketing campaign that says whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Clever slogan. Unfortunately, this is not true for leaders. The horrible mistake you should absolutely avoid when it comes to decisions is making poor personal choices. What does that mean? Do not lie, cheat, or steal. You will get caught at some point. Pay attention to the choices you make after hours as well. Some of you may say that it doesn’t matter. I believe that is a naive perspective. It does. I remind the leaders I work with before every holiday party – to have fun, but don’t become legendary. Don’t drink so much that others talk about you for years to come.
We live in the age of transparency
For better or for worse, we live in the age of transparency. If you are a leader and do something stupid, like sleep with a subordinate, people will find out. Nowadays almost everyone has a phone that includes a camera and microphone. It is easy for someone to record your bad behavior and share it with others. If you sexually harass your employees it will be revealed at some point in time. What should leaders do? Think before you act. I am not saying that you need to live a monk’s lifestyle. Rather I am saying to be smart when it comes to making personal decisions. If your parents or spouse will be embarrassed by what you are about to do…don’t do it.
Many leaders fall into this horrible trap
I could list leaders who have fallen into that trap. But, I don’t need to do that. We all know a leader who made a poor personal decision and paid the price down the road. For example, I have watched leaders get fired after a corporate off-site or holiday party because they decided to get drunk which led to unacceptable unprofessional behavior. It probably seemed funny to them at the time, but was it worth it? The answer is no. I cannot emphasize this enough – be smart when it comes to your personal decisions to include what you post on social media sites. The last thing you want to do is explain a stupid tweet you posted long ago when you knew better but did it anyway.
One caveat – enjoy yourself when you are on vacation
I am a big fan of relaxing and having a good time when you are on vacation. Let your hair down and enjoy yourself. If you are a strong leader and work hard at your job, you deserve to take a break from the daily grind every now and then. Just make sure that you don’t go overboard and end up making poor personal decisions you will regret.
The opportunity to step away from everything and take a break is something that shouldn’t be squandered.
Harper Reed
ATW! will make you a better leader
I hope you join me on this journey to raise the next generation of leaders. The world is in desperate need of more great leaders. Women and men who lead with confidence, clarity, and creativity. It’s time to become the leader that your world needs. Let’s go All The Way!